Saturday, 16 June 2012

How do you know that you have been in London too long?

You say "the City" and expect everyone to know which one.
It happened...
You have never been to The Tower or Madame Tussauds but you love Brighton.
Actually, I have been to the tower once and even twice to Madame Tussauds, would go to the tower again (on a quiet day) but… never again to Madame Tussauds! And YES, I ADORE Brighton and its stony
You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Shepherds Bush to Elephant & Castle at 3:30 on the Friday before a long weekend, but can't find Dorset on a map.
Oh dear... I do. Always good to wear layers during such journeys, can get quite hot... And where was Dorset again? :D
Hookers and the homeless are invisible.
Hookers… to be honest, I often do not recognize people as such, might be “innocence” or “ignorance”, but the homeless for sure are NEVER invisible.
You step over people who collapse on the Tube.
Check my answer concerning the homeless.
You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multilingual.
I do love speaking in and learning other languages, but strangely enough, was never interested in learning foreign swearwords.
You've considered stabbing some one.
Stabbing… not really. Slap in the face? Maybe a few times?
Your door has more than three locks.
No, I guess I have been lucky and have never needed such security measures.
You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.
It depends ;)
You call an 8' x 10' plot of patchy grass a garden.
I would be delighted if I could call those 8‘ x 10‘ part of my future Hampstead Heath garden flat.
You consider Essex the "countryside".
Err, next question.
You think Hyde Park is "nature".
Well, rather adapted nature, but nice for walking the dog I guess. (Love the Friday Skate Night that starts in Hyde Park.)
You're paying £1,200 a month for a studio the size of a walk-in wardrobe and you think it's a "bargain".
Not sure, maybe for a Hampstead Heath studio I’d make this sacrifice…
You pay more each month to park your car than most people in the UK pay in rent.
Do not own a car and am quite happy about not having to pay all the bills coming with it! Not planning to get a car, at least for the next 10 years or maybe even never.
You pay 3 pounds without blinking for a beer that cost the bar 28p.
I do not drink alcohol. And yes, I am German :D
You actually take fashion seriously.
The UK west of Heathrow is still theoretical to you.
Correct. I did see it a few times from above... during my flights to Luanda… during my flights to Brazil….
You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.
Your idea of personal space is no one actually physically standing on you.
£50 worth of groceries fit in one plastic bag.
I like to shop around, do not drink alcohol or smoke and love fresh vegetables from markets, so in general, £50 worth of groceries will definitely need at least 3-5 bags.
You have a minimum of five "worst cab ride ever" stories.
Actually, I don’t. Probably because I have only used a cab 3 times, late night and tired after a flight or dance class… Oh and one of the rides was a minicab. Mobile booked.
You don't hear sirens anymore.
Depends. But yes, most of the time my brain/ears ignore them.
You've mentally blocked out all thoughts of the city's air/water quality and what it's doing to your insides.
At least I try to, but my skin and hair sometimes reflect its impact...
You live in a building with a larger population than most towns.
No, but I did. Lovely people from Southfields.
You use the words afe, blood, dem tief and ting.
You wouldn't want to live anywhere else until you get married.
I AM married. And well, I do live in two places. But London will always be THE ONE.
When the news that someone has thrown himself under a tube train it's just someone trying to delay your journey.
Err, I don’t like to admit it, but I have had that thought.
Your day is ruined if you don't get a copy of Metro on the way to work.
Rare, but it can happen. In general I have my own book with me.

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